I Wonder What My Gravestone Will Say

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I took a walk with my beagle, Boozer, recently and we ended up in the Smalltown Cemetery.  I noticed there were headstones dating back to the early 19th century, and read many of the inscriptions.  As I did so, it occurred to me that most of the gravestones said little, other than the length of his or her life, about the person buried there.

 

I want my gravestone to be different.  The mark I leave on this world may be smaller than a gnat’s eye, but I want anyone reading my headstone to know something about me.

 

There are some inscriptions I don’t want on my stone.  A couple of them come to mind:

Joe Wright

He Worked Too Much

and Played Too Little

or,

 

Joe Wright

He Didn’t Have Much Fun

but He Had a Lot of Money

or,

 

Joe Wright

1952 to (anything less than 2032)

or,

 

Joe Wright

Sadly Missed by Almost Noone

I have some ideas for words I’d find acceptable for my gravestone.  For instance:

 

Joe Wright

Devoted Husband and Father

Fan of the Red Sox, Pats, and Beer

or maybe an inscription that tells the story of my demise would let visitors to my grave know I enjoyed life right to the end:

 

Joe Wright

1952 – 2042

Loving Husband of Winnie Wright (1957 – 2040)

Killed in Bed by a Jealous Young Husband

(do the math)

 

In the end, we’re all here for a very short while and we leave little behind except a few loved ones and a few words chiseled in stone.  Maybe I’ll be lucky and my final resting place will be adorned by a beautiful chunk of granite, into which the following words will be etched:

 

Joe Wright

1952 – 2040

Devoted Husband & Father

Patriot and Outdoorsman

Died at 88 of a Heart Attack Sustained While Dragging Out

a State Record 12 Point Whitetail Buck

RIP

Average Joe

About Average Joe

In 2009, Brian Daniels started writing a humorous commentary newspaper column and blog, Thoughts of an Average Joe by Joe Wright. “So why the nom de plume, Brian,” some asked. Brian, not so fluent in French, initially thought his friends were badgering him about his hair-do. Once it was explained that “nom de plume” is French for “pen name”, he explained that Thoughts of an Average Brian just doesn’t have the same ring and, furthermore, creating a fictitious character allowed him to express ideas and opinions even more ridiculous than his own. Brian, in addition to being a newspaper columnist and blogger, is an avid outdoorsman, a novelist, musician, and songwriter. His first novel, Luke’s Dream, was released in January, 2011. His second book, Thoughts of an Average Joe, was released in April, 2014 by Islandport Press. Brian, until his recent retirement, practiced optometry in Brunswick, Maine, where he lives with his wife, Laurene.