I Think It’s Time to Shorten the Political Season


The political campaign season in this country is too long.  Do we really need two years and hundreds of millions of dollars to decide who should lead our nation?

I, like most Americans, have decided whom I will vote for even before the campaign begins—it’s the person running against the candidate I hate.  So spare me the baloney and send me a check for my share of the millions spent to try to convince me.  It’s a waste of money; and furthermore, all those repetitious, mean spirited ads interrupt the ballgames and reruns of “Everybody Loves Raymond” I’m trying to enjoy.

There are too many campaign signs, too!  It really annoys me to see six identical signs along a thirty yard stretch of roadway.  I’ll be damned if I’m going to give my vote to any candidate who thinks I’m so stupid that I have to read his or her message six times in six seconds in order to get it.

Did you ever think of what happens to all those signs after the elections?  I’m guessing most of them are filling our landfills.  Some of us pay a dollar a bag to use the landfill.  Why not charge candidates a buck a sign?  I think it might improve their respect for my intelligence.

One way we could shorten the season is to have a six week campaign, in which candidates compete for the office to which they aspire, through some “Survivor” like contest that measures grit, common sense and integrity.  For instance, “Survivor Smalltown” might pit the final remaining member of the Holstein Tribe against the winner of the Jersey Tribe primary in an immunity challenge which involves producing the most farm income at a time when raw milk is garnering only $12.00/100lbs. and the cost of fuel to run feed harvesting equipment is hovering around $3.00/gallon. The Selectman election would likely go to the candidate wise enough to, reluctantly, sell his or her herd for beef and his pastures for house lots.

I’m sure there are a few politicians out there who truly want to serve their constituents for the right reasons, but there are plenty of nut-jobs, too.  I’m not saying we should totally scrap the electoral system upon which this great nation was founded; I just think it needs some serious tweaking.

Deer season is way too short and the political season is way too long.  Maybe we should lengthen the season for deer, shorten the season for politicians, and increase the bag limit for both.

Average Joe

About Average Joe

In 2009, Brian Daniels started writing a humorous commentary newspaper column and blog, Thoughts of an Average Joe by Joe Wright. “So why the nom de plume, Brian,” some asked. Brian, not so fluent in French, initially thought his friends were badgering him about his hair-do. Once it was explained that “nom de plume” is French for “pen name”, he explained that Thoughts of an Average Brian just doesn’t have the same ring and, furthermore, creating a fictitious character allowed him to express ideas and opinions even more ridiculous than his own. Brian, in addition to being a newspaper columnist and blogger, is an avid outdoorsman, a novelist, musician, and songwriter. His first novel, Luke’s Dream, was released in January, 2011. His second book, Thoughts of an Average Joe, was released in April, 2014 by Islandport Press. Brian, until his recent retirement, practiced optometry in Brunswick, Maine, where he lives with his wife, Laurene.